plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
