How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
