Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
