Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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