i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
