is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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