i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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