I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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