i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
