I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
