the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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