So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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