Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize