that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
