Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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