he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
false alarm, still single
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