Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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