so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
