Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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