Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
