I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
