Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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