this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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