pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
