yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
