I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
