She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
