you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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