I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's shark week go big or go home
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
