i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
