Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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