She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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