How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
