i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
