Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
