how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I licked your asshole in confidence.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
