i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
