It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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