My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
