as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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