I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
