THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
