I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I am spending my child support on dildos
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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