My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
