If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
