It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
