you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
