Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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