I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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