Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
